


Losing

by blackjack34212



Series: Ramblings [11]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 04:18:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5077498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackjack34212/pseuds/blackjack34212
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At what point do you accept loss?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Losing

      What happens to change the way people feel? Over the course of events in everybody’s life, they feel something, but what causes those feelings to change? I personally have a hard time changing, or adapting: once I feel one way about something or someone, it’s hard to change that, and it’s usually painful to do so. I feel like the one person in my life, the one person who motivates me for good, they are stepping back. That knowledge, that single thought terrifies me to my soul. I stay up late praying that this isn’t the case, but it’s hard to deny that single thought. They are pulling away, and I don’t know why. Did I do something, because that would _break my heart_ if it was me, all I ever do is well thought out, and has a purpose. Maybe, someone else is better than me, and they finally came to that realization. That I am not that cool. I’m emotional, selfish, and definitely not handsome. I don’t have anything going for me, yet I still try anyway. Confidence was something I had, but that was crushed for entirely different reasons. At first my fears were put to rest, but after the emotionless response I received, when I felt no sincerity. If they only knew, how much they mean to me. The non-stop thinking, the dreams, the _passion_.  Sometimes, I just feel like this person doesn’t share the same passion I do.

      There are a million little things that I do, that I don’t think they have ever caught on to. When I lay my arm at my side while sitting next to them, I’m secretly hoping to _catch their hand_. When I stand off to their side while they talk to someone else, I’m hoping they will break off the other conversation and come talk to me. But, the hardest one: is that when I speak to them, I wish I could take them away, go into a different room, away from everyone else, and confess **_everything_**. Everything, from my stupid choices, to the way I feel. I don’t want to leave out a single detail. I guess it’s only because of how much I want them, that I feel so much about them. It’s because of that: how much I care for them; that maybe this is for their, and my own good. As much as it pains me to admit, unless they are with me 100% of the way, maybe this won’t work. I don’t want that though, but sometimes you have to put others before you. If that is what they want, then I guess I just have to get over losing. But, _I don’t want to lose you_.


End file.
